I am sad

I am going to miss this class so much! :(......

They do it too/Abusive Asshole

I've notice a lot of people when they have been talking about the intimacy problem with the ship who sang and not being able to touch is a huge issue they seem to keep bringing up old people and sex. I've noticed people saying "some do" or such like that. Old people do have sex. I know ha ha very funny or ew gross but it's a fact. I know some may have anophobia or a fear of old people and do not want to think about grandma age people having sex or being sexual but why can't they be? Alot of comedy movies lately have been making a joke out of older women having sex and I really do not see the humor in it. Also the media's always emphasizes how important it is to be young and vibrant and how you should hide your age by dying your hair or using wrinkle creams. I know that people have a problem with old men too but there is so much pressure on older women and so much judgement. Post metopause women are treated like they have a disease and are treated with HRT. I honestly see menopause as sort of another right of passage like menarch is. I know this is a little off topic from the readings but I just thought I should point it out and another class I am in has been discussing woman and aging so it just sort of sparked up.

Going back to the readings the ending really sort of confused me. Pallon seems like such a jackass and all the things he says to her like calling her a metal plated retard (or w.e. he says) just makes me so mad. The relationship does not seem healthy to me. He is obsessed with her in a creepy, crazy way. When someone is obsessed with another they ususally end up becoming abusive in different ways and since he obviously can't hit her cause she is a ship (and that would really only hurt him) he does it verbally. I really want to read The Partner Ship to see how this relationship works out.

Required to Donate and Helva's Motherly instincts

It sort of took me back when I read on page 56 that those who had great physical and mental qualities were required to donate their eggs. It did not seem that important in the book but I find this to be a big violation of reproductive rights. There are a lot of people for egg donation and against it and those women should have a right to choose to donate or not to donate. It's also almost genecide of for lack of a better word stupid or ugly people. It reminded me of that Harvard graduate trying to sell her eggs for thousands of dollars because she knew people would want her "smart" genes. It also made me think of how women can now abort pregnancies if the child is going to be deformed or even if the child is not going to be the gender they wanted. I just do not think this is fair. I understand that raising a child who is disabled or diformed is hard to deal with but that is the egg that was chosen to recieve life. I'm not really all for one side of the issue or the other but I just feel imperfections is the way of nature and everyone coming out "normal" or "smart" would just make the world boring. Imperfection can be more beautiful than perfection.

I also noticed on page 61 how once again a female character is showing motherly instincts. Even though Helva is incapable of having children (or is she?) she still wants to protect the donated eggs at all cost like they are her own. She also felt close to them in a strange way because they were encapsaled just like she was, obviously not forever though like her.

I was very happy when Helva gave Kira an idea of how she could have children with her beloved, lost husband. When Kira turns around and says that Helva could do the same thing with her mother's eggs and Jennan's father's sperm this confused me. She is a ship... could she be able to raise a child? This just blew my mind with so many questions and possibilities... I would rather not look to much into it but wow was that a strange thing to suggest!

Diamond Age Drummers and other things

The idea of the Drummers is really complicated and I am not sure what exactly is going on. They sound like a very sick bunch of people that are acting out on their subconciouse desires or have no control over their id. He seemed to have no control over his impulses and/or sexual desire. Why would the nanosites effect him in this way? I do not understand the significance. I understand that they are transmitted from person to person through intercourse but why and how is the person "dreaming" through out this?
I did not like how the  book jumped ten years into the future at random. I wanted to see Nell grow up with the Primer more. I feel like I do not know her anymore. It was also strange to me how she was right around the same place in the Primer she was ten years ago collecting the keys that had been stolen and the final key. What else has she learned from the Primer in the time that was not talked about then? I remember she did backtrack to go back to the Dojo and learn more but for ten years? Highly doubt that. I thought she would be in a different story by now or something. I just do not like how quickly time has past and I feel I am left out of whatever happened to her during those ten years.
I am not sure what Nell is planning on doing with her life. I have not read up to the part she gets her fortune or whatever it is yet. I just do not see a place for her in the society she is in right now. She is not conforming or rebelling so what is the medium of that or outside of it? I found it quite funny that when she left she put on a shirt that said SHIT HAPPENS so she could blend in lol.

Awsome, Mysterious Ending

I really enjoyed the ending of this novel! Somethings confused me a little bit though. What actually happen to her father? Did he just become old and senile? I really thought that she should have killed him. He deserved to die a slow, horrible death. I expected Ash to jump up and bite him in the jugular or just tare him to pieces. I really liked how the ending really made this more of a sci-fi book to me. The Moon women visiting her was definately a fantasy scene in the book but it could be interpreted as just a dream. The dress and Ash's hair growing long was not too big of a deal to me. In the end though, she became a glowing, supernatural being. The blood really freaked me out and I was not completely sure of the meaning behind the blood that came out of her palm. When the blood flowed between her legs it made sense for obviouse reasons. It represented her loss of her virginity. Which reminds me it bothered me how out of no where the author goes into how in the future it is some kind of oracle because it took me away from what was going on in the present. I was also confused as to why she became two seperate people. The more beautiful one was the one that disapeared. I thought maybe she represented Lissar's anguish and shame for what had happened to her and she disapeared so Lissar could move on. Why was she the more beautiful figure though? I love this whole part of the book but there are so many things I am confused about and are very mysterious. I will definately have to read it again and try to make more sense of it. Hopefully in class today we will go over this a bit, but I know there will also be a lot of questions about " Laugh of the Medusa."

This Can't End Well

When the woman knelt down at Lissar's feet I was a little worried. I thought that maybe someone had recognized her as the princess or thought she was her mother. I had a flash back of the women falling at the queens feet close to the beginning of the novel. There are so many events that spark Lissar's memory of her former life and I keep thinking that it's going to be the moment that it all comes back to her. I do not know how someone can repress a memory that well. I know that this is a fairytale and the Moonlady gave her the ability to surpress the memory as a gift but this happens can happen in the real world as well. I do not understand how this can happen though. I googled repressed memory and found out that some psychologists do not believe that people can repress there memories. I do believe that they exist but I also know that through hypnosis false repressed memories can be brought up and made to believe. I just hope that Lissar never remembers what happened to her. I know that stories do not always have the "lived happily ever after" ending but I just do not want to see her go through that. I am really attached to the character we are reading about, sadly. I just don't see how this story can have resolution with her memory returning. I know that Prof. Hager said the king will get what is coming to him in the end but that does not change what happen to Lissar and she will never forget it. You can not repress a memory twice... well corection cause Lissar did, but she can't conveniently repress it a third time. I just do not see this story ending well at this time. But then again, it can't have a worse ending than Donkeyskin.

Defend Yourself!

I know a lot happened in the last few chapters we read but for some reason one comment Katsa made in chapter thirty-three really stuck out to me. While thinking about teaching Bitterblue how to fight she brings up, "How absurd it was that in all seven kingdoms, the weakest and most funerable of people- girls and women- went unarmed and were taught nothing of fighting, while the strong were trained to the highest reaches of their skill" (398). I thought about how this reflected in reality. Boys are brought up to know how to defend themselves or how to fight and girls are not taught to do so. Protection is not emphasized for girls. I never thought to know how to defend myself until I had a forieng exchange student living in my house named Jazzy. She was my older German sister. She asked me one day if I would know how to protect myself if I ever had to. I had no idea. She confessed to me that she had been raped when she was younger and that she did not know how to fight back. She did not want this to ever happen to me and taught me how to break someones nose if I were ever attacked. It seems that women do not even think about learning how to defend themselves until it's to late and they become victums of assault. If you live in a bad neighborhood then you are usually taught early on how to defend yourself, by learning defensive fighting skills or carrying mase, but those who live in peaceful neighborhoods are usually not taught. The horrors in the world are swept under the rug by parents and ignored to protect a child's innocence. When the horrors of the world become a reality for that untaught child they have no idea what to do and are defenseless. I think more young girls should be taught at an early age how to defend themselves but how to make this a reality is lost to me.  People want to protect their children and keep them boxed. This will never change. I googled to see what sort of things popped up and there are a lot of tips on how to defend yourself against a predator. One good site: http://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Defense-For-Teen-Age-Girls-and-Young-Women-When-You-Have-to-Fight-Off-a-Sexual-Attacker!&id=2494663 Check it out! Learn how to defend yourself even though your not Graced to do so! It's a bit over dramatic but understandable with such a seriouse topic.